John McNeill's Kitten Factory
or a history of Horny Genius in 3 acts, 1 and 1/2 stanzas, 3 bars...and a religion

March 16, 2004

  In a strange coincidence, while looking for a non-vomit soaked copy of the Koran, I found a brown paperbag (record store size) with a partial tour diary of HG through the first Athens OH show. Sentence fragments and unfinished thoughts, but enough to bring back some fairly vicious flashbacks. Not written in blood, so apparently we hadn't turned to cannibalism...yet. Some day I have to get a scanner so I can send "valuable" artifacts like this. You were mistaken for a woman twice- once in Mpls and again in Madison.

March 14, 2004

  oh let's see here if my mind can put the evolution of MM to HG in the proper order...
1) we start off with mental midgets in the Turnis garage/Hageman barn days of '83 named as we all know from a line in the Tom Waits song "the piano has been drinking".
2) some parties are played under that name (actually two to be exact) and then the name changes to Idiot Voodoo (after a song by the Mpls band The Suburbs)
3) more parties played (two more to be exact) before the name changes yet again to The Detractors (or was it just Detractors?) with a delightful play on words associated with farms! Yeah it coulda been The Cowshits too.
4)  Have to say at this point and actually before many very short term names were used at least for practices etc., such as: Expensive Prostitutes From Mars, Col. Sander's Heatseeking Missle Dicks, Grandma Lard, Dog Butter and many others- but from the Detractors we became
5) That Matters. A stupid name I thought of, taken from the Clash slogan "The only band that matters" Often called Fat Matress by Mike T. (wasn't that the name of Noel Redding's band after he left Hendrix?). Anywayeee I believe we played our first shows in IC under that name although I have a sneaking and probably correct suspision that The Detractors was the actual IC debut name (I can see a poster in my mind for a show we played at the Crow's Nest under Detractors)
6) Anyway, That Matters was eventually deemed too stupid for words and yet up to the point of recording the Dogs Under The Car cassette the name stayed- the master tapes are under That Matters). One evening at Gabe's Brian and I drank many beers (later doing abysmal sound for Total Fools) and threw names back and forth. I had always liked the fact that Cheap Tricks original name was The Horny Bulls and somehow or another that morphed into Horny Genius. I'm sure there were probably some wonderfully unusable variation inbetween which I wish I could remember ie Buckminster Fuller's Geodesic (sp) Dildos/Toilets- dang! So we decided that was the name. Can't remember what Blood Gouge's reaction was, but it musta been positive- unless of course he was secretly wishing we could be The Mike Turnis Boogie Band or Bachman Turnis Overdrive or The Captain and Mike Turnis or Turnis Bloody Turnis or Wishbone Ash but that had been done already hadn't it?
  Oh well, there you have it. The complete genesis to Genius (ahahahahahahahahaha!!!-ow!)
Feel free to use this for the entire history of Genius on the website, it are retarded!
teddy bears and fluffy bunnies,

March 10, 2004

  I went to the HG part of the site this morning and, after drinking my Crunchberries and vodka smoothie, I vomited beautifully. That said, I should note that:
Jeff Haag was the drummer for Dogs Under The Car (Muffin joined shortly after in the fall of '85)
Dogs was "released" (oh that's rich!) also in the fall of '85. Very limited release in that dubbing tapes was done in real time on two decks until I got a dubbing deck in Oct. I believe we were slightly (okay, completely) embarrassed by putting something out, especially since we wrote crappy pop songs and weird shit, played badly (well me anyway) and Dogs didn't fit or wasn't accepted by any of the IC cognisentie (sp). So it was a sporadic release. For some odd reason Kevin Gibson took a shine to the song "New Parts" and thus whilst I stood in line to see Husker Du at Amelia's he asked if we'd open up for the Del Fuegos in December. I learned many lessons from the DFs like: 1) don't get sponsered by Miller Beer and 2) don't let Mitchell Froom convince you that a session guitarist should do your guitar solos in place of your lead guitarist. This why I was slightly more belligerent with Albert G. when he wanted to edit songs and have Steve Vai do your solos ! after we went home! I wasn't against Gene Simmons doing my bass parts but Albert said puking blood on every song, which was what I wanted to see, would cost too much. fucker.
Max was released in July of '86 slightly after the departure of Brian and slightly before the arrival of yer own bad self. Dan Fogelberg, Tom Petty and Doug Roberson all said they liked it, but secretly wanted to vomit beautifully. So the rest is history as they say.
When exactly did Burn your Sister come out? I remember it being cold so I was thinking January cuz what other stupid time would Garzon choose to release a record. In fact I seem to think I had some sort of conversation about this with him and he said it was after Christmas so it wouldn't get lost in the rush with all the other releases ("No mommy I wanted Horny Genius, not Whitney Houston's Greatest Hits!!! bitch.) and before the big spring releases for the same reason. Did this really take place or am I just remembering dialogue from Spinal Tap? Weird.
I, of course, always wished we'd gotten to record the batch of new stuff we had. The stuff we played more than the record tracks while on the two tours. That stuff I was really happy with, the G tuning songs etc. I'd toyed with the idea of digging up good live versions of those plus the Svec stuff. And then there's the songs we did with Jeff Isaacs and the Burn demos that never were released. Plus the really terrible, yet terribly funny pre-Dogs songs. Oh there's a box set there if only there were a reason for a boxed set... We were prolific if nothing else.
Glad you got the package, sorry I was lazy and didn't write song titles. But hopefully you'll like some of 'em. Let me know what's up.

h.g. main -- pooter/music -- pooter/main